Who is also left
by ohsosirius
Summary: When James died, Sirius world was shattered to pieces. Locked in Azkaban, mourning his dead friend and his lost friendship with Remus, Sirius can't stop thinking about how his once close friend Peter ruined his life.


A/N: it can be read as a companion to **"Who is left"** by **feetonthemoon**. It follows the same events but from the point of view of Peter. I may add another chapter with some memories, but that's in process... For now, I hope you enjoy this!

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><p><em>In battle it is the cowards who run the most risk; bravery is a rampart of defense. -<em>_Sallust-_

He was screwed, he knew it. Peter had been very smart by cutting his finger and blaming him for the betrayal in front of so many people. Even when he knew the truth, there was no way anyone would believe him. For everyone else but him and Peter, and of course James and Lily –it still hurt thinking about them, as it always would- he was the Secret Keeper and, consequently, he was the one who had betrayed the Potters, not Peter. Now he was, also, the one to kill Peter and the twelve muggles who were in the street.

His life had been shattered to pieces, but he could not care less about himself. If one thing Sirius had learnt from his parents was the fact that he was strong enough to come back from almost anything. If given the chance, he would have overcome his friends' death and Peter's betrayal. But Peter had made everything possible not to give him that chance. Now he had lost his best friend and everyone else in his life, he was a fugitive and he had absolutely no idea what his next move would be. He wanted nothing more than to have the chance to raise his godson, but there was no way the Ministry would allow him to do so.

If the circumstances had been different, he would have gone to Remus and told him the truth, but those days nobody trusted anyone, and Remus was not an exception. Remus had always been the quietest of them four, he was more secretive and thought things through. Sirius would have never mistrusted any of his friends, which had proved to be silly of him, for Peter had betrayed them. But Sirius did not have it in him to doubt those who had been here for him all the way. Remus, on the other hand, had always been doubted because of his condition, and so he was more resistant to trust people.

Sirius blamed himself for having thought Remus was the spy, as he knew Remus thought it was him. Now, as he was locked in Azkaban, he realized that they never thought Peter would betray them. Once again, they had underestimated their friend… former friend. Peter had always followed them everywhere, and because of that nobody would've thought that he would ever do otherwise. What was in it for Peter? He was not known as someone seeking for power, he had always preferred to stay in the shadows. So what had been his motivations? Sirius came from a family who always chose power over anything else. His own brother had done it, though deep inside Sirius knew Regulus did not care for power or pureblood supremacy and he had made his choice driven by fear. So probably Peter's situation had been the same. Voldemort had been trying for a long time to find a spy in the Order, someone close to Dumbledore. The obvious choice was him or James, or even Lily or Remus, but Voldemort was smart enough to know that they would never break. He went for the weakest member, the one person who did not think of himself enough as to believe he could actually accomplish something. Peter had always knew he was not as smart or as talented as his friends, but they had never casted him aside. They had been there for him and Peter had never showed anything but appreciation.

In Hogwarts they were close, they did everything had always been four Marauders and nobody doubted it. But when they left School, James had gone to live with Lily, and he and Sirius had gone to Auror Training. Remus had been an important part of the Order from the beginning, trying to reach for the werewolves and make deals with them. Peter was not such an active member, but Sirius thought they had made sure not to exclude him. Now, he thought maybe it hadn't been enough. Peter grew lonelier with time, but they always assumed it was one of the many effects the war was having in all of them.

The very moment he learnt the news, he knew Peter had betrayed them. He had to act fast, because Peter would know that Sirius would go after him. There was no way he would not avenge his friends. So Sirius searched for him in his Animagus form and the moment he sensed Peter's smell he turned into a human and pushed Peter right in the middle of a street full of muggles. At the moment Sirius did not think of the consequences, he was blind with anger. He was ready to kill Peter, and he would have done so if Peter had not started shouting. Sirius ears could not believe what he was hearing –Peter was, in fact, accusing him of the betrayal. That did nothing but increase Sirius anger but Peter was fast, a quality of him he did not usually showed, and he casted the Killing Course. But as fast as he was, he was also very bad at controlling his emotions, which proved a blessing for Sirius. Peter's curse did not kill him but every other person in the street. Sirius was shocked, his anger only kept increasing. Peter took the distraction as an advantage, casted a quick _diffindo_ charm that cut his finger and transformed into his Animagus form, which gave him the possibility of escaping.

Sirius was left alone in a street full of dead muggles, a finger from his former friend in front of him. If it had been any different, Sirius would have reacted fast enough to transform to his Animagus form and fled away. But the fact that he had lost his best friend –his brother– the night before was too much for him. The shock of being indirectly responsible for it made his actions a little too slow and by the time he regained conscience and was looking for a way out, he found himself surrounded by Ministry officers. Some minutes later he was being taken to Azkaban with no trial and no possibility of talking to anyone. Sirius had nothing else to lose, he had already lost those whom he cared the most about to Voldemort; Peter, the spy who betrayed them; Remus, the one scared enough not to trust anyone and James, dead by the hands of the Dark wizard.

James had been the one to teach Sirius what family meant, he had accepted him into his family when they were young and had never let him escape –not that he wanted to. James had given him much more than friendship; he had been a brother to him. Lily had accepted him as James brother and never questioned them, never asked James to choose between her and Sirius. How could he even think of betraying them?

Once he came to accept that James was not coming back, the pain of Remus believing he was the one who sold James and Lily out to Voldemort took place. From anyone else he could've understood it, but from Remus he could not. Not after everything they had been through, not after every full moon he had been by his side. But a voice in his brain, less biased by pain, knew that Remus had not many choices. It was either accuse him, Sirius, or Peter. And Remus had been presented with the same fake evidence as everybody else, so Remus chose to believe Peter's side of the story.

It would not be until Sirius could finally escape Azkaban that Remus would learn the truth and at the time, both men would be able to forgive themselves and one another. But twelve rough years had to pass, both Sirius and Remus left alone, one confined between walls and immersed in guilt and the other one captive of his own mind, feeling useless to everybody, not allowed to see his best friend's son and hating his other best friend for having caused the death of their friendship.

Life would not be easy for either of them but everything would come to a close the moment they would hugged at the Shrieking Shack, that moment in which their feelings could not be expressed with words, that moment that would make everything a little bit right, a little bit better. That moment would not last forever, since their lives would never be easy or completely happy, but they would finally be reunited and together they would accomplish much more than alone.


End file.
